So, once upon a time I was a "decently-known" blogger, and I cared about notoriety and all kinds of other factors. I had a bunch of twitter and blog followers who meant... what? Nothing. And I realized that, yet still yearned for the "blogosphere" connection. And so, without further ado, I present my very own, "Five on Friday" while on my way to a random Friday adventure with my husband and best friends:
11)
Work It Out
If I were to embody a deadly sin, it would
be, without a doubt, sloth. You know the song “Sexy and I Know It”? Well, I’m
Lazy and I Know It. It takes real effort to drag my carcass out of bed each
morning and be a functional, productive member of society. I do it, but when
all is said and done, I would much rather lie around for days on end reading
trashy chick lit and snoozing when the whim strikes (my husband will attest to
this). Unfortunately, it has recently come to my attention that this lifestyle
doesn’t exactly jive with my genetics and, unless I want to find my fifteen
minutes of fame on My 500lb Life, I have
to spend a little less time running my mouth like a Real Housewife and a lot
more on the treadmill. So, I packed up my gym bag, stuck in some headphones,
and made it to the gym four times this week. One would assume that for someone
who ran a marathon just over two years ago, this would not seem like a major
accomplishment; I, however, am a product of the Millennial Generation and as
such demand my gold star, head pats and a new dress size
RIGHTNOWTHISVERYINSTANT (please and thank you).
22)
Marital Subterfuge
The other night the husband and I were
trying to figure out what to watch next on Netflix. Being the sneaky little
sucker I am, I told him that I’d heard really good things about Call the
Midwife. My high school bff has been trying to get me to watch it for AGES, but
I just haven’t had time to add another show to my “me time” repertoire. The good
news is, he fell right into my perfectly-laid trap by admitting he’d never
heard of it before, and now we are happily ensconced in Season One and I no
longer need to figure out where to fit it into my delicate balance of The Originals,
The Fosters, Pretty Little Liars and Scandal when he isn’t home to complain
about how much trashy “Lady TV” I watch. And that, folks, is what I call a
win/win.
33)
Marital Bliss
We’re going to our first wedding since our
own tomorrow night. Without the madness of playing Ringmaster and corralling
150 people into three separate spaces during the day, I really love weddings
and can’t wait to attend. Plus, the bride and groom played a vital part in the
early days of our own romance, so we’re really looking forward to watching them
enter into the eternal shackles bonds of marriage themselves.
44)
Butt-Dials
of the Loud and Adorable
The other day, I was texting my sister as I
left work, accidentally hitting the “call” button as I slipped my phone into my
jacket pocket. Apparently, the world’s most motor-mouthed five year old (aka my
niece/goddaughter), saw my face pop up on the screen and automatically assumed
that I was calling at 5:30 on a Wednesday evening to chat with her. After
screaming into the phone and scowling like Posh (you’re welcome for that, Kelly),
she realized I wasn’t on the other line and hung up. When I finally pulled my
phone out of my pocket ten minutes later, I saw I had a voicemail – because she
not only called me back, but also left me a message telling me she did so, and
instructing me that she would talk to me later. I seriously felt like Anne
Hathaway in the Devil Wears Prada, only instead of statuesque, couture-clad Meryl,
my boss is a four-foot-tall pipsqueak in pigtails. AND SHE’S NOT EVEN MINE!
55)
It is embarrassing to admit how many times I
look away from these two gifs, only to realize that a full five minutes have
passed. You’re welcome.
